Family therapy
by Loner72
Summary: Tsuna wants to take his family to a therapist but they put up a fight(argument)
1. Chapter 1

Tsuna was at the breaking point of losing his mind with his family trying kill each other, the paperwork and everything else. So Tsuna decided that his family needs therapy and this is when he had gotten the idea of family therapy. He knew it would be a long shot, but hey at least he might get his family to stay calm, so he told his family about and they automatically said no.

"Kufufu who do you think you are, sending me to a person who tries to corrupt your mind. Please do not try it I am after all the master at doing that."

"I extremely do not need family therapy I'm alright if anything I think octopus-head need it more."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY LAWN-HEAD SHUT UP YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO!"

"Maa maa mina we should just try to get along,but Tsuna I really don't think we need therapy. I believe our family is just fine, it's just that we are very special."

"You call me here for this herbivore how dare you."

"Lambo-san honestly thinks you all need therapy." Once Lambo said that everyone in the room turn to look at him, they gave him the most scariest glare ever. Tsuna is getting angry little by little that's when he finally decides they're going to that therapist.

Step 1: Be friendly

"Look, guys even if you don't want to go we should still give it a try come let's go." Tsuna tried the first thing's on his list which is being nice and be friendly that's the best thing.

"Like I said before, I am extremely not going you won't get me to go."

"Same here, sorry tenth but I will not go to a damn person who thinks they know it all."

"Haha sorry I won't go either Tsuna there is no way you can get me to go."

"Kufufu I don't even know why you continue and you already know my answer."

"I don't even know why I am still here with you herbivores."

"Lambo-san won't go so stop trying to make me go."

Tsuna patients is being tested right now and the more they tell him no the more he want's to freeze them.

Step 2 :Negotiate with them

"Ok how about I give you guys what ever you want or I won't make you do any paperwork." Tsuna thought they would take the deal they cannot  
>resist it or so he thought.<p>

"Never."

"Sorry tenth"

"Not even grape candy will get me to go."

"Kufufu I still won't go."

"Haha nope I won't go either."

"... no"

Tsuna nerves is now being tested he is not going to allow them to do this he is going with his last plan. He took his pills and gloves out and gave  
>them an option.<p>

Step 3: Give Them an Option

"You can either come with me and go see this therapist or you can clean the entire Vongola mansion and all the paperwork." He looks around and his family does not respond to his question.

Step 4: Use Force

Tsuna guardians watches as he take his Dying Will Pills and as he swallows them, they begin to wonder is it too  
>late to say yes they want to go to the therapist. "X-BURNER!<p>

5 Minutes later~

Tsuna and others were in the car going to the therapist. No one said a word they could not only because they're warped in badges.

Turns out that therapist was really a jerk and well he was also very disrespectful saying that Tsuna is not a good boss. So Tsuna in return use Zero point break-through.

Tsuna no longer had a problem with his family fighting he has a new method he'll just freeze them.


	2. The Varia

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR

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><p>Today if any one was a therapist this would be their worst day ever, today Lussuria decides that his dare family therapy and he wants to take them.<br>Neither of them can put up a fight only because he used blackmail. He knows all their little secrets and he threaten to use them if they don't go.

So they do agree but they won't be nice or stay calm. "Fine you stupid trash but I won't take any insults towards me, if he insults me I will kill him."

"Ushishish I hate going to those type of people they always try to tell the prince what to do."

"VOOOI this better be worth my time if it isn't I'll be pissed off got that damn it!"

"I don't feel like going plus if I go they might think I'm crazy since I'm with you guys."

"This better not cost me all my money, if it does someone owe me a lot of money."

"Come on my dears we should get going now~" Lussiura took them to the therapist and now this is going to get a little messy.

"Ok my name is Rin, I am the family therapist and I will be helping you out today with your problems."

"Tch who said we had problems you just assume we had problems that's why I hate people like you." Squalo just look away from the man he really hate people like this.

"Loud mouth-Senpai is right you can't fix what's not even broken."

"Then why would you be here in the first place if you did not have any problems?"

"WE WERE BLACKMAILED DAMN IT!"

"Ah, I see the problem now, perhaps you all deal with a great amount of stress. I also see that your leader have a problem as well." The moment he said that the entire Varia group went off.

"VOOOOI I KNOW HE'S A SHITTY BOSS, BUT YOU CAN'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!

"USHISHISH looks like I have a new target board."

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT BOSSU YOU WILL PAY."

"I don't even want to get paid this round I'll be paid with your screams of pain."

"Well even if he uses me as a toy that does not mean I won't protect him."

In the end the Varia members told the therapist how they feel after that Xanxus order them to kill the poor man. "I am so going to enjoy this." They all said in usion and then the man was never seen again.


	3. The Boss

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR

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><p>"Dame-Tsuna, I have been getting nothing but complains from the family therapy organization. It seems that the Vongola has had a lot of problems from this place and the reports are sad just sad. Your guardians seem to have problems and you're going to find out by going under cover. Before you say one word I had to listen to those people complain about how there is a decreasing amount of psychologist that are leaving some even disappearing without a trace. So I want you to think about that and my pain is your pain so you're going to become a therapist and you will listen to your family problems."<p>

Tsuna just sat there with his mouth open like a gasping fish, he had no idea what to do. "You'll start today right now so get into some clothes."

This is how Tsuna is now sitting in a room with his first guardian the hot-head. "Ok, your name is Gokudera Hayato it's nice to meet you my name is Tuna." Gokudera just glare at the man and did a 'tch'.

"Look, let's get this over with so I don't have to be here any longer."

"Ok Gokudrea-Kun let's talk about your relationship do you have anyone important to you or a lover?" Tsuna remembers that Reborn told him to ask  
>questions that involves the mafia which is Tsuna.<p>

"Well, I'm not in any relationship but there is someone important to me." Tsuna look at him with interest he did not expect Gokudera to say that he did have a special person.

"Well you see it's this person who is really important to me and well I like him a lot but there's this one person who always get in the way." Tsuna is really interested now he wants to know more than ever. "His name is Reborn I really respect him, but he always make the tenth suffer I really hate it but I could never say anything."

"Ok, and just how important is this guy named tenth?" Tsuna felt so bad he really should not be hearing this but he just has to know what does Gokudrea think about him.

"I well you see he um well he is like a little brother or sister to me. You see he some what look like a girl but he's really cute."

Tsuna could not believe what he is hearing Gokudera thinks of him as a little brother and or little sister. "He was the first person who understand me and he still is I really like him I would go as far to say I love him, but that's not the only thing well there is some one else that I hold dare his name is Belphegor sort for Bel I never told anyone this but we see each other from time to time so we can share our secrets."

Tsuna wanted to smack himself in the head he did not understand why in the hell did Gokudera decided to let all this out on him. "I also have more and-.."

"No you don't have to tell me it's ok I understand and I'm sure if you tell this tenth person how you feel he would understand." At that Gokudera jumped up.

"Thank you so much I think you remind me of someone I think that's why I don't hate you that much but thank you a lot I'm going to tell tenth how I feel good bye Tuna."

Tsuna could not believe the day he was having because after Gokudera it was the worst person of them all Xanxus and well he spilled everything. "I had a rough childhood and I hated it so much and now it's a little better. There is someone who makes it better its my bear and my animal his name is Bester I always sleep with them and they make it all better."

The worst thing is that the entire time Xanxus is laying on Tsuna lap the entire time and did not move for anything. "I see maybe you should stay around them more since they make you happy." Xanxus look up at Tuna and gave a smile a smile coming from Xanxus.

"I will do that and if you say a word to anyone about this I will hunt you down and kill all your love ones, bye I need a nap."

It just kept getting worse the next person was a person he knows it's Yamamoto, now the thing is what is worst about this is the thing's he said. "I just hate her so much I really like Senpai but I just don't like his sister Kyoko she is always near Tsuna. Tsuna is my best friend and I hate that the fact every time she comes around he get's so involved with her. And, do not get me started with the so call proclaimed right hand man I like him trust me I do, but he is never nice to me I mean how hard is it to say something nice every once in a while."

This continued on and Tsuna never knew Yamamoto felt that way he is really surprised at what he said. The next person is Squalo and this is Tsuna worst nightmare.

"VOOOI he always pulls my hair and it hurts so much, my hair is so fragile I can't keep going though this. If my hair falls out I'm so going to kill him."

That day Tsuna had to listen to all of their problems one by one and he suffered so bad he heard all their secrets and they even gave him a threats if he told anyone. Tsuna made sure he will never make his family go any where that has something to deal with therapist things.


	4. The Boss Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR

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><p>"Well I've seen the reports and it seems like you are getting well-known for being a great therapist for the Vongola family. That's pretty good so I think you can take on some more, if you try to disagree with this I'll tell all your patients who you really are, so with that, you'll start with some more patients today." Once more Tsuna just sat there he could not have a say so in this situation he hated himself so badly.<p>

Tsuna first patient is his mist guardian the manipulated one who always know everything yet he does not know Tsuna is in disguise. "Kufufu I never really thought I would be talking to a therapist but it's for the fun. Well you see I have a secret it's about the person I hate the most I won against him one time. He is supposed to be the best at fighting but I did not believe that, but after our battle I would always go see him when I have a chance and we will talk a lot and I really like being with him but it's this person who always get his attention."

Tsuna was thinking that Mukuro was talking about Hibari since he did win against him but he never really thought about that Mukuro would say this person. He also never really expect for Mukuro to be jealous of the person he was about to say.

"Viper is and will always be my friend I do not consider him as a toy,but that Fon person is always in my way every time I sometimes just want to make him suffer but something is restraining me to do so."

_'Oh my god no please do not go on I can not believe this I will be in hell if someone ever found out I'm Tsuna not some therapist name Tuna.'_ But luck was not on his side he kept going. "I do not mind Ken I actually sleep in the same bed with him."

Tsuna has had enough this was another breaking point he won't listen to this not anymore. "Well how about you can stop your problems by telling  
>someone how you really feel." Mukuro smile and walk towards Tsuna and put his hand out <em>'I will not take his hand you can get me to do any thing else but I won't shake that hand.'<em>

"Thank you Tuna for aiding me in my problems I will tell Viper how I feel and I will tell Fon as well thank you very much." Mukuro still had his hand out Tsuna took that hand he could have sworn it was like signing your death contract.

"Oh and if you tell anyone I will make you suffer with a unbearable curse you did just shake my hand after all." Tsuna knew it and now he is cursed _'Why did I do it why I am such an idiot.'_

Tsuna thought the rest of day will be ok but he got a surprise patient it was Hibari Kyoya and this should be scary but it's not. "I'm afraid I don't want to lose him but if I do I will have to kill everyone and anything. Skull and Flan are important to me but if that damn baby and that stupid herbivore  
>pineapple and that damn so call prince get's me mad.<p>

My pet is also important to me too his name is Hibird I always have him with me but this cat name Uri tries to hurt him and I want to plan something to kill it but I can't figure it out_."_

"Have you tried to poison Uri I mean it's really easy all you do is put it in her food when she eats." Tsuna eyes widen he should have never said that it's just that he was so involved in what Hibari was saying.

"Not bad I'll try that I should go I promise Flan that I would take him out for some ice cream goodbye and tell anyone you're dead."

Tsuna tried to run away from this but Reborn had the entire place set up with traps so he had to wait until this was over with Bel was next.

"Ushshish well I just love talking to him he is not that bad even if Lambo is not a prince I will take him in my hands. Spanner is another one I spend my time with him when I go out on missions."

_'Oh he went there I can't take this anymore someone shoot me already this really is bothering me.'_

_The sessions were over with and Tsuna was too happy that he was able to be free. However he did not realize the advice he was giving is putting a bad_  
><em>effect on everyone he holds dare.<em>


	5. The Effects Of Bad Advice Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR

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><p>"Today since you have done such a good job you can take a break and enjoy yourself." Tsuna is so happy today, he is finally able to get away from that job because he feels as if he is losing himself day by day. Tsuna decides to watch some TV and when he turned it on he was not expecting this.<p>

"Breaking News a man has a lion around him and is hurting the citizens also the lion goes to every shop and eats all the meat."

"NAHI! I knew he would be on TV one day, but not like this, wait could me telling him to keep Beast-.."

"Also, in other news reports on a teen going on a rampage hurting over 200 people because his animal was denied help. The teen apparently says _'I'll bite you to death'_ this has many people worry about how our city is leading to nothing, but violence."

"Hibari it has to be him no one else could do that." Just when Tsuna thought it could not get any worst Kyoko came in looking afraid.

"Tsu-kun Yamamoto-kun is being really mean to me he keeps saying rude things to me."

"Oh, come on you should stop that little innocent act. No one, is going to fall for it you're so weak just leave Tsuna alone."

"See Tsu-Kun he has been like that all day long not once has he been nice to me."

"If you don't get away from Tsuna I will make you suffer." At that Kyoko ran out of the room.

"What's wrong with you Yamamoto?"

"I'm just doing what my therapist told me to do which is let out my feelings and that's what I am doing. Sorry I have to go I need to talk  
>to Gokudera bye." Tsuna just had that 'what the hell did I do' face and he got a call. "Hello?<p>

_"Are you Sawada Tsunayoshi?" _Tsuna wanted to lie so badly he could not.

"Yes why is there something wrong?"

_"Yes there is we have some people who is being held __in jail and the first person they mention is Sawada Tsunayoshi __do you mind coming down."_

Tsuna knew the day would come but not too soon he hated it but he wants to sure he heard them right. "You said they? Do you mean it is more than one?"

_"Yes and they are destroying everything and they __are also hurting our inmates please come soon."_

Tsuna put the phone down and went down to the jail house but when he got there he could not believe it.

"Kufufu it's about time I was getting bored of this place and besides that one over there says it's Vaira territory now." Mukuro pointed at Xanxus who was being worship by the guards and the inmates_ 'He's a god even if he is in jail!'_ Tsuna watches as they serve him wine and everything else.

"Why? How could two people take over a jailhouse within 3 minutes." The police officer said as he went into a mental break down.

"3 MINUTES ARE YOU KIDDING ME HOW AND WHY ARE YOU TWO DOING THIS?" Tsuna exclaimed at both Muroko and Xanxus and they said this in usion.

"Our therapist said express our feelings fool/stupid trash." He could not believe this was happening they even talked in sync this day is the worst.

He is just getting home and he is kind of happy, but he gets a call from the animal shelter, he already knew once he picks up this phone it will make  
>him very depress. "Hello?"<p>

_"Herbivore come pick me up this place is __getting on my nerves."_


	6. The Effects Of Bad Advice Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR

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><p>"Hibari-san, where are you? And why do I hear animals in the background?"<p>

_"I am at an animal shelter. Why else would __you hear animals in the background idiot."_

"Ok I'll come pick you up." With the phone call ended Tsuna went to the animal shelter he was hoping that Hibari don't do any thing out of the ordinary.

"Hibari-san... WHY ARE ALL THE ANIMALS LOOSE?" Tsuna saw cats running every where dogs chasing them and the person in the middle was no other then Hibari. He wasn't the only person there. "Xanxus? What are you doing here?"

"Tch, I came here to get Beaster they took him away, so I had to kill I mean hurt some people to get him."

"I don't even know what to say I can't believe this."

"You're talking aren't you, so I guess you do know what to say herbivore."

"Oi trash how did you get here?"

"Uh, I took the car to come here and why do you want to know?" Tsuna saw Xanxus taking Beaster and walking over to the car and putting Beaster and himself in the car. "Wait you can't do that how are we suppose to fit in there with you and Beaster in there." Tsuna was in shock because Hibari jumped  
>in with him too and Roll was with them.<p>

"What do you mean by **we** herbivore you need your own transportation, so see ya." The car was gone and Tsuna was left there with no way to go home. The remaining of the day was a disaster people were hurt and thing's were destroyed Tsuna blamed himself for not giving the right advice.

"You had a hard day too Tsuna I can feel your pain I was forced to go shopping and guess what? So many people hurted me only to try to get my number. That's suppose to be a man's dream, but to me it's my worst nightmare." Dino signed he really had a bad day.

"Tsuna-Kun I had a bad one too Adelheid was mean as always and well today, this person really got my nerves today. I honestly hate him because he think's he better than everyone else Julie he really is annoying I hate him so MUCH! You really think you're so pretty news flash YOU'RE NOT!"

Dino and Tsuna looked at Enma surprised they did not expect Enma to snap like that it was so surprising they really were surprise.

_"Can I join as well I really __had a stressful day._" It was Bermuda who entered the room.


	7. The Bosses Problems

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR

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><p>"I'm serious Tsuna-Kun they always think they're so perfect they could not even go a day without telling me what to do." Enma felt good telling his<br>friends about his guardians he really dislike like them. "Oh and let's not forget Koyo he is another to I'm telling you if they ever in their life touch my bear  
>I will kill them." At that Tsuna jumped up and said that's enough.<p>

"Ok Enma why won't you talk to your guardians about this I'm sure they will understand what you're trying to say." Enma looked at Tsuna and his eyes soften a little his hair covered his eyes. They all thought that Enma finally calmed down but just when they thought he was really calm he surprised them.

"You're right I should do talk to them and you know why I am going to tell them how I really feel and I'm going to show them." Enma went Hyper dying  
>Will mode and flew off to go give his guardians <em>"The Talk" <em>and left the room a half destroyed.

"What the heck just happen? I can not believe this, who knew Enma had so much anger." Dino agreed with Tsuna no one had ever seen Enma get so mad.

"I think Enma just snapped because he is tired of his guardians I am surprise I have not snap yet."

_"Besides his problems we should discuss about __our problems I have to endure those idiots every single day and it's not easy. I have to break my __back cleaning after those filthy people." _Tsuna and Dino sat down and was listening to Bermuda they wonder who he is talking about.

"Who are you talking about I didn't know you were living with someone."

_"I'm not living with normal people,these people are __monster and they are nothing but lazy they have no __consideration whatsoever. I am so tired of them  
><em>_I'm on the break though on burning them to death __if that does not work I'll just talk to Mukuro and he'll __send them straight to hell. Now that gives me idea I __will go talk to him right now I'll see you two later I want my revenge VENGEANCE WILL BE SEVERED!"_

Now a second boss decides to go give his guardians _"The Talk" _Tsuna and Dino did not know who he was talking about but they can guess it must be  
>between the Arcobaleno or the Vindice care. Well it did not matter but Tsuna just thought about something.<p>

"OH NO MY FAMILY IS STILL OUT THERE HURTING OTHER PEOPLE I HAVE TO GO NOW BEFORE IT THE END OF THE WORLD BYE DINO."With that Tsuna was gone too Dino thought he finally has some peace to himself, but just when he thought that he heard woman came his way.

"NO STAY AWAY HELP I NEED HELP I'M GOING TO DIE." Dino ran as fast as he could so he could get away but the woman were no about to give up so easy.

"WE LOVE YOU DINO-KUN~ COME BACK TO US!"

"NEVER."

And that is how the bosses have problems and this is how they solve them with revenge.

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><p>An: I think this is a bad chapter


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